A lot of times gifts are given with an agenda. Donations to colleges often come with a placard or - if the gift is big enough - a name on a building. We offer support with a quid pro quo in mind. We effectively barter our gifts for favors. These are not, technically gifts. Are they?
Strictly speaking a gift should be just that, a gift.
When I offer a gift, I often find myself thinking about what benefit I might gain by having been so generous.
It occurs to me now, that's not so generous. Is it?
When people take our gifts and do things with them that we did not expect, sometimes we get our feelings bruised. Why? Was it a gift? Then let it go.
Let the person to whom the gift was given do with it as they see fit. Be happy for them.
I now, that's easier said than done. I do not always find the equanimity to let go of gifts. Sometimes, I think things like, "Damn, do you not understand how much time that took?"
In my stronger moments, I like to think things like, "You do what you want with it. It's yours. Use it, or not. Sell it if you want. Trade it for something better if you like."
I wish I had more strong moments.
I'm working on it.